The Blinking, Bleeding Frustration-

The biggest problem I can imagine in the world is this:

I have come upon my particular novel, which I am codenaming “Big Pete” for the purposes of this blog, with a purpose I haven’t had in any of my other projects. I have enlisted friends and I have sat down and talked the plot out with them. I have made notes. Gads of notes. And then it occurs to me-

I need to just WRITE.

The size of the project intimidated me so damned much that Big Pete has become this monster, Moby Dick-sized nightmare that I am not sure I can tackle. And the funny part? I am blowing the size of this thing way out of proportion. I’m trying to write a fantasy novel, not give birth to a litter of puppies or climb Everest! It’s a novel! I created it! And my own insecurity is making mountains out of molehills. This isn’t Shakespeare, this is my own creative process, and the size of the project is giving me the screaming willies enough to make me hammer about with this thing on notes and discussions and such-

Where does the actual writing come in?

So I resolved tonight to sit down and come up with the first few words of the book. The book, I decided, had an intro page and I am going to come up with that tonight. I have the idea/layout for the first eight chapters, and I shall tackle those as well. But tonight, I will put down the intro at least, or forever be a horse’s ass about this. It’s just a few words-

So why is this so damn hard?!

1 comment

  1. Yeah, I really hate that kind of feeling.

    I read this post and the following quote came to mind.

    “My idea of hell is a blank sheet of paper. Or a blank screen. And me, staring at it, unable to think of a single thing worth saying, a single character that people could believe in, a single story that hasn’t been told before. Staring at a blank sheet of paper. Forever.” — Neil Gaiman

    I mean I also have a hard time with stuff like that — the actual writing, that is, but (and I know you’ve probably had this advice enough to drive you crazy)…once you start putting stuff down on the page, my experience is that things tend to come out from there. I don’t know if that helps, but it’s something.

    If you’re a perfectionist, though (like myself, at times), then you’ve just got to ignore your “inner editor” until you’re done.

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